Why am I not motivated?
and what am I doing about it…?
“I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.” - Helen Keller
It was about March 2021, a year to the day after the start of the lockdown, that I ran out of ideas to create – through any medium, drawing, painting, sculpture. I had been so motivated and focused for the entire lockdown year. I had felt positive and happy that I was moving forward in my work.
At first the feeling of losing my creative spark didn’t trouble me as I had my studio to organise, ART360 edition 2 in April to think about, and of course the garden was beginning to bloom.
My ART360 live interview happened at the end of April. It took a bit of time to think what I would talk about and what I would show the public. I spent days gathering and collating past projects that would make sense to me and ultimately to the public. It was an eye opener to revisit past work and how I’ve moved on and use past work to inform new work. My studio was eventually ready – not too pristine- but not in a creative chaotic state. I organised the best seated position, camera, lighting, all props needed to hand, internet sorted. All systems go. I was happy, excited and I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and at the end of the interview, I walked away with some new ideas to move my work forward in a slightly different direction.
Brilliant, but…where had my motivation gone to take the action I now knew was required?
On reflection I realise I am a winter creative, as one entire wall of my studio faces the garden and I find it difficult to concentrate on my art when gazing at a garden that is begging for attention. I had gotten the borders ready, removed weeds, ordered and planted seeds, tended to the veg patch, moved pots - general garden maintenance. Spring was on its way and my focus and my energy were firmly on my outside environment.
I didn’t abandon my art completely you will be pleased to read. Fortunately, I had made a commitment to submit to 3 exhibitions, which I did in plenty of time before the deadline. I took my time and created folders on my computer for each submission because I knew from past experience, if I leave these applications to the last minute, I panic and get myself in such a stressful state that I question if it’s actually worth the trouble of applying to shows at all.
I had to take all my own photos as the Covid situation made it nearly impossible to get my work photographed professionally. But I had plenty of time because I didn’t have to produce new work at the last minute. I had been producing new work for the past year. Why should I beat myself up? I had time to think about my statement and I already had a bio that could be tweaked. I have a brand-new website, an updated Instagram and Facebook – all the things that are usually required when applying to shows.
Artwork selected for the online exhibition Figurative Art Now at the Mall Galleries
So where am I now creatively?
My garden is blooming. I attended a cloth dying workshop and all the while, since May, I have been blind-sided by family responsibilities that needed full attention. However, I did get into two of the shows I submitted for and have had emotional and physical support from family and friends, and the sun is finally shining.
All is good, well at least getting better every day and the fact that I am still not artistically motivated or inspired at present, I know it is not a forever state. After speaking with a colleague, I realise what I am missing most is inspiration from gallery visits, preferably with a like-minded gallery buddy. I am missing in person painting classes, discussions, sharing of ideas. I need real live people to get me going. I guess I’ve fallen victim to Covid fatigue. I am just taking a break, re-gathering my thoughts and feelings and trust through awareness that something will show itself and I will turn back to my art when the time is right.
Artwork selected for S.E.W, Rome 25-31 October Rome Art Week
what have I learned from this period of lack of motivation?
To be kind to myself
To appreciate time and the small things
Value the resilience I have grown to keep going, all be it slowly toward my goals – small steps are as worthwhile as big leaps.
There is no rush, when you do what you love you can turn back around when the time is right.
Planning well in advance is less stressful when submitting for opportunities at the very last minute, and in my case the positive energy this created really did reap reward.
Art is my safe place, my sanctuary and sometimes my nemesis – a worthy opponent!